What is Dating Violence?
Dating violence is a pattern of behaviors used to control, scare, threaten, or intimidate in a dating relationship. Types of abuse can include physical, emotional/verbal, and sexual abuse. Not all abusers use the same tactics, and tactics can change and get worse over time. While physical violence is frightening and can be lethal, emotional/verbal abuse is the most common type, and often the most harmful.
Being abusive is a CHOICE by an individual. The abuser makes a conscious choice to abuse his/her dating partner. Nothing “makes” a person become abusive. It is not caused by alcohol, drugs, jealousy, stress, or mental illness. When a person abuses, IT IS A CHOICE.
1 in 3 adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
What does dating violence look like?
Physical Violence/Abuse
Hitting, kicking, slapping, shoving, pinching
Strangulation, smothering, burning
Destroying property, throwing and/or breaking things
Hurting/killing pets
Leaving a victim in an unsafe place
Not letting the victim leave
Emotional/Verbal Abuse
Shifting blame onto the victim for the abuse
Name-calling, putdowns, degradation
Manipulation, threats, intimidation, coercion
Excessive jealousy
Isolation, minimization
Blackmailing
Sexual Violence/Abuse
Forcing the victim to do any sexual act that they do not want to do
Rape, attempting to rape
Making the victim afraid to refuse sex
Forcing the victim to have sex with other people
Denying or sabotaging contraception
Threatening to share intimate photos/information
What can you do?
Inform yourself
Where can you go for help? What are your resources?
Inform a safe adult
(family, teacher, coach) about what is going on.
Identify safe places
in your community like police stations, churches, and shelters. It’s important to know where to go should you need help.
Come up with a code
word with your safe adult and/or a friend in case of emergency. This will alert them to call law enforcement in case you can’t.
Safety plan
with someone you trust.
Keep Records
and write down each incident and/or save threatening texts, emails, snap chats, etc.
Common Red Flags of Abusers
Wants the relationship to move quickly
Doesn’t honor partner’s boundaries
Excessively jealous
Accuses partner of cheating
Says one thing and does another
Seems “too good to be true”
Has an entitlement belief/attitude
Center for Survivors
advocates are available
to help you with
free and confidential services!
Call 402-564-2155 or 1-800-658-4482
We are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.